Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Ding Dong, the Fish is Dead. The Fish is Dead.

Eeeeew. Pet fish. I lost that battle. This seems to be happening more and more around here. I'm losing my illusion of control.

We started on this slippery slope a couple weeks ago when Thing 2 won two gold fish at the school carnival.

By the way, whose idea was it to give fish away as prizes?!! I demand to know so I can drop the fish carcass on their door step.

Well, maybe not. I might be over reacting a tad.

Fish are not pets. If I've said this once I've said it a thousand times. I think it's even in writing on this blog. I don't want any caged animals or animals that swim in their own poop. There's something wrong with that.

Yeah. Dr. Phil would ask me how's that working for me. Clearly it's not.

So, we got these fish. We couldn't take them back. Stinkerbell won them. So, Peanut Head and I picked out a modest tank and we kept the box, hoping that they would expire promptly and we could just put the tank away until the next carnival came along.

While we've been walking around harrumphing at the fish, the girls have been ecstatic to have them. Every morning Thing 1 jumps out of bed and the first thing she does is feed the fish. Every day she asks me why the fish aren't swimming around and playing. Every day I tell her . . . care to guess?

Fish. Are. Not. Pets. Fish do not entertain. Fish do not smile. Fish do not break dance. You can't pet fish. Fish swim a little, eat a little, and poop a little. That's all.

The girls don't care. They love the fish.

When Thing 1 got home from school today she went to check on her fish and noticed right away that it was floating.

Then the freak out fit ensued. "MY FISH IS DEAD! MY FISH IS DEAD! ANNIE'S FISH WAS HOGGING ALL THE FOOD AND MY FISH STARVED. I HATE HER FISH!" Then she sobbed hysterically and I tried to comfort her, all the while thinking, fish are . . . Oh forget it.

So Thing 1 is sad, sad, sad. Sorry sweetie. Not.

UPDATE:  I wrote this post a couple days ago, so I wanted to fill you in on a new development. We woke up today and the other fish was floating.  Thing 1 didn't freak out this time.  She just said, a little too gleefully, "Are you going to take a picture of him for your blog, Mom?"

I guess he got his just rewards because he was such a hog, eh?


  1. I am not a pet person of any kind. Don't get me wrong...I love animals...I just don't want them in the house. We had ferrets for a while and I hated every second of it. I say keep the fish in the aquariums and the doctor's office where they belong.

  2. Ugh... I hate gold fish. They really should come with a warning labeled attached that says "Life expectancy: 2 days!"

    But, hey, I've got a eyeglass-wearing Bichon for you if you're looking for a "real" pet for Thing 1 and Thing 2....

  3. jill
    you are hilarious you really should write a book i wa laughing out loud... mattie

  4. I thought of you when I saw this:

    Really, if you get anymore gold fish, I think they need to come with one of these so you can treat them like "real" pets....