One More Thing

It seems that at the beginning of every year I return to school after my winter break in a slump. Not just a slump, I'm talking about a gigantic bad attitude.

 I work so hard up to the break, that when the break comes, I crash.

And when I say crash I'm talking about sitting on the couch in a puddle of my own drool and liking it.

This year wasn't any different except that this time I decided over the break, that without a doubt, I was done. This was going to be my last year teaching. In fact, I was so sure that I told anyone that would listen, that I couldn't take it anymore.

Forgive me, but now that Twisted Sister song "We're Not Gonna Take It" is stuck in my head

So what was different about this year that I decided I'd had enough?

Well, this year I started keeping track of all the hours I spend at my job. I always knew that it was a ridiculous number, but I never actually did the math.

Sort of ironic, isn't it? The math teacher that doesn't do the math.

I didn't keep track of any of my summer hours because a lot of that is just my own disease, working in my classroom before I had to be back. I wanted to be fair and reasonable because I knew that this data was going to help me make the decision of whether to stay or go. Just like that Clash song from the 80's.

I started with my hours on my first contract day and I included all the time I've spent planning, preparing, grading, teaching, everything.

And do you know what I found? I was averaging 58.6 hours per week doing my job. The job that the average citizen nauseatingly likes to remind me, although very much in error, allows me to have my summers off and leave everyday at 2:30. Never mind that I'm teaching until 3:34, my contract time doesn't end until 4:00, and I never have the luxury of walking away at 4:00. Pesky details.

Do I sound bitter? I won't deny it, I'll just smile and fake it until I make it.

Back to the actual hours, I figured out that if I continued at this pace I would have put in 2,168 hours in 37 weeks.

I compared this to a 40-hour/week job working 50 weeks a year with 2 weeks of vacation, working 2,000 hours per year.

That's right, I'm working 168 more hours in a year, but in less time.

Somehow having summers off isn't as attractive as it once was.

What I'm talking about here is balance.

I have zero balance in my life. I don't do fun things during the week. I don't exercise. I rarely cook for my family. I fall into bed exhausted at the end of the day and I'm killing myself.

Since I'm full on into my Pity Party, I also calculated my hourly rate. As a teacher in my ninth year of experience teaching in Idaho I make $36,096 a year (which I might add is less than I made when I taught in California 15 years ago with less experience). If I divide that by my 2,168 hours I'm making $16.65 an hour.

Granted, these hours aren't true for all teachers, but I can guarantee you that it's an alarming number.

And to be fair, my crazy hours are partially my fault. If I were to work just my contract hours I would be making $24.39 an hour for my 37 weeks of contract time.

That's not horrible I guess, but remember, I'm working all that overtime and I don't get paid time and a half.

Do I think it's going to change and teachers will be paid more? Not for a minute. That's not really the problem I have with my job anyway. It's the sheer number of hours I put in that I can't deal with.

Honestly, there are so many things that I love about my job. Every single day is an organizational challenge and a juggling act. I dig that because I never get bored.

And the kids? They crack. me. up. Every single day. I can't imagine not being around them.

And the math! Can I just tell you how much I love doing homework which I then assign to my students? They complain about the homework and I tell them I assign it because I care. "It hurts me more than it hurts you because I have to grade it," I tell them. It does not make them feel better.

My dilemma is that I love my job, but my job is killing me. Or maybe I am killing me because I can't do my job in a reasonable number of hours?

I've had to take a step back and really look at what I'm choosing to spend my time on. I had my evaluation meeting with my principal about a week after returning from break, and he confronted me right off the bat about hearing that I was telling everyone I was leaving.

The thing is that he didn't ask me about it in an accusatory way. He was truly concerned and wanted to help. He sat and talked with me for at least 45 minutes, trying to help me figure out what I could do to work less and play more. He shared his experiences with me and he talked about the frustrations he feels about the job and the demands that are placed on us.

Every meeting we go to, teachers leave saying "One more thing I have to do now." It's awful. Expectations are constantly changing and this new idea is replaced with that new idea, and we are just supposed to embrace it, invest a gajillion hours to implement it, and then change it again at the next meeting.

Teachers know what I'm talking about.

I came away from the meeting with my principal waffling on my position. He really made me think about how I spend my time.  The bottom line is that I just have to hold firm and walk away at 5:00. Whatever it is, it can wait until tomorrow.

And do you know what? It works. And okay, I can't do 5:00, but I totally walk away at 5:30 and I don't bring it home. I do still have to plan on the weekends, and I hate that, but I'm managing the day-to-day and I don't feel overwhelmed. Before this new mindset, I felt overwhelmed every single day.

I've been to the gym a few times--not enough but it's something. I've been cooking a few nights a week and I often have leftovers to take in my lunch instead of prepackaged frozen meals. Some nights I come home and just sit on the couch and read. I waste time.

So maybe I'm not leaving. I'm not making any decisions right now, but I am going to give my job another chance. I'm going to take it one year at a time. That's all I can promise right now.

A New Deal

The kids went back to school today in my neck of the woods, and the girls and I are back into the swing of things.

I'm telling you, today kicked my butt.

I'm pretty sure that it's because I worked manically all weekend in preparation for today and only got four hours of fitful sleep last night. Wah, wah. Listen to me whine.

I'll have to remember to label this post as a whining post. I know people are just dying to listen to me whine.

Tonight isn't looking too good as far as my bed time goes, but I think I'm going to sleep like a baby. No, strike that. I'm going to sleep like a rock.

I'm extra crazy busy right now because I've changed schools and I know nothing. I rush around before and after school, looking for teachers I can pepper with my never ending questions.

"You mean I just let the kids walk by themselves to the assembly? They don't have to be in a straight line and I don't have to keep them from wiping their boogers on the walls?"

Then I go home and work on my computer that always works, because they don't always work at school, into the wee hours of the morning getting ready for the next day. Tonight I spent my time updating my Procedures Power Point for Middle School. Not surprisingly, I deleted a lot of slides because they don't apply to this age group.

I'm a little worried about myself saying this, but it feels good to give up a little bit of the control. For example, I'm rethinking my whole "No airborne objects" policy in the classroom and considering having Air Traffic Control sometimes give flight clearance in the No-Fly Zone. Sometimes.

I'm giving my girls a little more control too. This year I didn't double and triple check their supplies, or even label anything. I told them to do it, and if they didn't, what I don't know can't hurt me, right?

This is my attempt at preparing lunches in advance. I desperately need to eat healthier this year. I gained ten plus pounds last year just because I was stressed out, not meal planning and cooking, and eating out too much. I ate so many frozen lunches, I get an involuntary urge to vomit when I walk by the freezer case at the grocery store.

I'm back to meal planning and cooking so we eat better at home, and now I have leftovers for lunch that I can get excited about. And I do.

I'm just living the life here. Living the life.

You Stress Me Out

Yes, I'm talking to you. I love you and all, my peeps that come here and read my yackitty yack and never leave me hate mail. I so dislike hate mail.

You stress me out because, HELLO?, I just spent 15 minutes whining about how big of a train wreck I am because of my inability to work and keep my house running smoothly at the same time, and y'all go and tell me I need to make this or that and sell it on Etsy. Well, I can't do that because of my Jobsy, so you're just going to have to settle for a giveaway now and then.

But first, I would like to whine some more. It's my turn, and since you're here already . . .

You comfy? Good. So, I'm freaking out over here because I came up with this brilliant idea that I was going to do the yearbook for our school this year. The yearbook that, guess what, has to be done and to the printer before the end of March.

And still do my Jobsy with the Cushy Schedule.

Dumbsy.

I do this sort of thing quite a lot. I have Time Management Displacement Perception Issues. It's a real affliction. Google it.

You might come right back here.

I like it so much, I'm tempted to change my post title to that very thing. Except I have attention deficit issues as well, and I might forget what my point was in the meantime.

Where was I? The yearbook, that's right. So, it actually got off to quite a nice start. I was cranking out pages on the software provided to me by the school picture people, I was right on schedule, and then, of course, a software update comes out.

At the perfect time, two weeks before D-Day. Awesome.

And it messed everything up. All my hard work, scrambled. 

There is some humor in amongst the angst, and it came at the perfect time. The software developers decided that they were going to set up what they call a GoTo meeting with myself, my computer, and Vladimir in Russia. I was to be at my computer at 5:00 a.m., in order to have an hour to resolve the issue, I have so many, to accommodate the pesky time difference between the Western and Eastern Hemispheres, and still make it to my Cushy Schedule Jobsy by 7:30 a.m. At my computer, I was to be fully dressed and not wearing my Morning Hair.

Yes, it does sort of run in the family. The reason why I was to be fully dressed, etc., was because Vladimir in Russia was going to be conversing with me through the camera in my computer. I probably was supposed to stay up all night to learn to speak Russian, or least how to scream "JUST FIX IT!!!!" in Russian. And that's not even the best part.

He was going to take control of my computer remotely and fix the issue.

Is it me, or does that just sound creepy?

I freely admit that I am a horrid person, because all I could think about is this commercial and it scared me so.

In the end I opted out of the GoTo meeting because I'm a Chicken Butt. The yearbook problems did get ironed out in spite of all the unpleasantness and perhaps a tantrum or two, and I am happy to say that it is on its way to the printer, with less than 100 hours to spare.

I think I might be conquering my Time Management Displacement Perception Issues.

So, back to this.

Some of you rather liked this little set-up, and since I'll be on spring break from my Cushy Schedule Jobsy in about a week, I thought "How fun would it be to do a giveway?"

Never mind. Bad idea.

Ha, ha. I kill myself. I delight in torturing others.

Really though, who wants one? I pledge to give two of these away, I have no idea how I'm going to ship them, but I'll figure something out. And, I'm just making this up as I go, but how about if I throw in 30 or so magnetic menu magnets to get you going? I'll let you pick three colors for the magnets, you can e-mail your menu choices to me, and your menu grid can be brown, black or white. The only catch is, you have to be one of the two people who Random Integer Generator picks. Leave me a comment telling me what you are going to do for either spring break, or your next vacation. Or, what the heck, what you wish you were going to do.

If you leave a comment to enter, please make sure that either your e-mail is attached to your Google account profile, or you leave your e-mail address in your comment. It's a bummer when Random Integer Generator picks a winner I can't contact, and I have to pick someone else. 

Good luck Peepity Peeps!

Oh yeah, [SQUIRREL!!!!] the deadline to enter is Friday, April 1st, at Noon in Russia. No lie.

If you didn't win, and you really want one of these vinyl menu planning grids, you can buy one for $8.50. I found someone who will make them for you. Find out how in this post.