This is Mattie Cake. That's her little girl, Macie, sitting on her lap.
Mattie Cake and I have been friends for five years now. We met when she moved into the house next door.
We hit it off right away. She's one of the sweetest people I've ever known, and she would do anything for anyone, and do it with a smile on her face.
She's a better person than I, and she makes me want to be a better person.
There. Now that I've told you how much I love her and how great she is, I have paved the way to tease her just a little bit.
Mattie Cake is funny. She is hilariously funny.
In some ways, we are the exact opposites of each other. I am anal, she is so not. I'm a control freak. Mattie Cake is a free spirit. A fly by the seat of her pants spontaneous person.
I wish I were spontaneous, really I do, but I like to write things on my To Do list and cross them off. In fact, I'm compelled to do that. Not such a spontaneous trait.
Mattie Cake doesn't get caught up in the little things. The things that really don't matter. It's one of the things I love and admire about her. It makes her the person she is, able to drop everything at a moment's notice to help out a friend, no questions asked.
I know this about her.
Which is why I knew, without a doubt, that it was her that booed us last week.
Every year in our neighborhood, people leave treats on others' doorsteps, ring the doorbell and run. The person who has been booed receives a little ghost with their treat, asking that they boo four more people, and put the ghost in their window to let others know they have already been booed.
We were booed early on this month, and at first I expected that it was Mattie Cake because she gives us treats often and boos us every year. I caught the person though, and they were not associated with Mattie Cake in any way. In retrospect, I think that they were probably a little freaked out that I was chasing their car.
You see, our little tradition is that I always run out and try to catch her son, Jaxon, in the act.
But Jaxon is fast. Jaxon is real fast.
And I'm an old lady. And a roundish person.
I don't mind running though. It's not pretty in the least, but I do run.
I've only caught Jaxon once, and I think he was three so that was totally cheating on my part. That's my claim to fame. I can catch a three year old.
These days, I don't even see the kid. And he loves that. He thinks it's the neatest thing.
So we were booed early in the month, and it wasn't Mattie Cake. We put the ghost in the window as the rules state.
And Criminy, would you believe that we got booed again? I wasn't expecting it. I was complacent in the knowledge that I had gotten my booing done early in the month, and therefore did not have to worry about scrambling to make treats again.
Yes, I was complacent and Jaxon got a head start. A head start that he didn't need, I might remind you.
Victory was in the cards for me though, because Mattie Cake gave herself away with her choice of plates for the treat. She put her cupcakes on Fourth of July plates.
Now to an anal, everything must be just so person like me, that was a dead giveaway. I had her nailed.
Immediately I called her phone number to further entrap her. Her husband, Daddy Long Legs, answered the phone and I nonchalantly asked him if Mattie Cake was home. "Nooooo. She's um . . . not. here. right now." Man, he sucks at subterfuge.
I raised my fist in the air and said "Ah Ha! I knew it was her. She just booed me." Daddy Long Legs replied, in his trying to be suave voice, "What makes you think that?"
But I had my huge, glaring clue. My Mattie Cake DNA so to speak, and I told him "I know it was her because she put the cupcakes on a Fourth of July plate! Only Mattie Cake would put Halloween cupcakes on a Fourth of July plate!"
Then he just started laughing. Mattie Cake, you have got to coach that boy when he is supposed to be covering for you, because he is not so hot at it. He was thoroughly enjoying himself laughing, and he was not there for you.
Man, it felt good to catch her. I have been denied that satisfaction for just about five looong years.
Yes. It still feels good. So good, that I just can't leave well enough alone. And I have my sidekick, Peanut Head, who is just as juvenile as I.
Last night we booed Mattie Cake and we left her treat on a heart shaped Valentine plate, with a little note that said "Happy Easter."