Sunday, April 12, 2009

It's So Hard to Find Good Help These Days

You are not going to believe what this Dumb Bunny did at our house today. I'm practically speechless, I just can't even believe that we have to put up with such poor service. And so soon after the whole Tooth Fairy fiasco too.

I need a new Easter Bunny and a new Tooth Fairy. Surely in this economy I should be able to find a motivated person to put this suit on and do the job right, don't you think? Any takers?

So, here's the deal. Peanut Head and I are enjoying our Sunday morning, sleeping not quite peacefully as we have kids hopped up on sugar popping into our room every five minutes to update us on the loot "The Easter Bunny brought us a blah-blah-blabbity-blah-blah and we're so BLAH-SQUAWK-SQUEAL . . ."

In other words, a typical Sunday morning except with sugar crack dropped into the mix.

Then Loot Report No. 1,764, Private Zoe arrives at our bedside, all glee and sweet happiness leached from her voice, "The Easter Bunny didn't hide our eggs. Why didn't he hide our eggs? They're still in the refrigerator. Why would he do that?"

My mind first freaks out . . . OH CRAP! They can actually reach the refrigerator now! And open it! And make simple logistical calculations and interpretations about what may or may not be in said refrigerator when it should not be there still. So screwed. How to recover? What to do. Mind racing and freaking out and freaking out and racing. Crap, crap, crappity crap!

Then, in my sweetest of voices, the fake one . . . "What sweetie? Hmmm. Maybe the Easter Bunny didn't want to hide the eggs outside because it rained last night."

So not impressed, Private Zoe retorts ,"Well then he could have hid them inside. He's done that before. Why didn't he hide our eggs?"

I couldn't very well say that maybe the Easter Bunny doesn't love her anymore, now could I? So I did what any other parent backed up against the wall would do. I lied.

"I bet the Easter Bunny wants to wait and see if it's going to be a nice day out. Then he's probably going to come back and hide your eggs when we're at church."

Whew! She bought that one. I have so got to get my ducks in a row or I'm going to get caught here and soon.

Thankfully that Bonehead of a rabbit made good on my untruth. The weather was beautiful and the wind chimes were tinkling softly in the breeze. The kids walk in to find this.

Samma-Lamma-Ding-Dong, mauling an Easter egg. Seriously, could it get any worse? Never mind, I know the answer to that.

Yeah, so Drool Girl here thought she wanted to eat the egg, but apparently she couldn't figure out how to get it open, so she just slimed it instead. Thankfully we still had 20 others and the hunt was on.

Stinkerbell here knows how to hunt her some eggs. When she was around two, we were part of a play group, and for our yearly Easter party the other mothers were afraid that Girlfriend here was going to get to all the eggs before their kids could claim some for themselves. Smashley told me about the fearful talk running rampant in our play group, so I was able to tie some weights underneath Girlfriend's pretty dress to slow her down a bit and give the other kids a chance.

Nice picture, Zoe Bug. I can see you not looking at me. I know you're scanning the yard for eggs. Don't fake it.

Poor Zoe Bug. She was wearing her Glitter Monstrosities, pink glitter shoes that she just had to have. She was so desperate for them that she took them in the only size that was available, Tuna Boat, and watching her walk is a comedy. She's always flinging them off the ends of her feet and stumbling when she walks in them.

Up here on the play set, she asked me if she could take her shoes off so she could get down safely. Sure Sweet Thing. Knock yourself out. No, don't. I mean don't knock yourself out.

Grace is not her middle name. She takes after her Mama.

Almost there.

Zoe tried so hard, but with the Tuna Boat shoes and her Wile E. Coyote sister, she was lucky to get any eggs at all.

And look, we amputated one of Stinkerbell's legs just to even the playing field.


  1. That last picture and comment totally cracked me up! Looks like a Happy Easter!

  2. What a silly Easter bunny....not hiding those girl's eggs!!! Looks like they had a great time when they got home on the Easter hunt! They are just too cute!!

  3. Tuna Boat?? Ha Ha ha! What a couple of cuties! Happy Monday!

  4. You are one crazy girl.....I'd fire that bunny and least you have a whole year for interviewing/finding/going over the check list with said new bunny. Get an experienced one this time, m'kay?


  5. Look's like you had a great Easter...even with the slacker bunny!

  6. That Easter Bunny! What was she/he thinking????? (Or not thinking in this case...)

    BTW, your egg-slobbering dog sure does look a lot like one of my dogs -- THE BEAST.

  7. Oh no! LOL I'm so glad you were able to pull that off!!

  8. Loved reading this! We hope you had a great Easter (looks like they did) and thanks for visiting our blog!

  9. LOL! What great memories! Still laughing about the amputed leg photo!

  10. Your Tooth Fairy and My Tooth Fairy should get together! My oldest, now 10.5 lost one of her last baby teeth in fall 2007. She didn't tell us that she lost it...sneaky. She woke-up the next morning, obviously tooth still there. She told me the Tooth Fairy didn't come. I told her that she had to tell her parents when she lost teeth because we had to call her on the special "Parents Only" number and let her know. So, the 2nd night she puts it under her pillow. I was 6 months pregnant at the time and extremely exhausted + memory loss pregnancy brain going on. Yeah, I forgot AGAIN! She figured it out at that point. Gave her hush money and she was cool. :-)

  11. OKAY....that is some funny stuff! Thanks for sharing. Now go put your poor daughter's leg back on :O)

  12. That was hilarious! Your kiddo has some logic goin on in that brain.

    My kid told the neighba the Easter bunny didn't exist. Nice right?!

    Easter bunny could not come to my house per say. If we told my nephew that he would have ran away! LOL!

  13. At least she is wearing pink... it makes the flamingo look work so much better!

    About the TF, the last tooth lost around here was seriously lost, so quick thinking kid used toilet paper to make a tooth and fake out the TF. TF didnt catch on and the tp was still there in the morning. =/ You win some, you lose some (teeth). LOL

  14. Crazy Easter Bunny!

    Glade you had a nice Easter!

  15. That was hysterical! I love the dog mauling the egg, that must have been a sight. That Easter Bunny, what is he thinking? Over here he brought three extra baskets given to Maddy all day long by relatives. Can't the bunny get it right? One basket, that's all a kid needs.

  16. Great comeback and so glad it worked out!!! LOL you are too funny. The girls are sure lucky to have such a fun mom!

  17. You had me wanting more as I read each post you featured so I had to click on this one. I was not disappointed. You are really funny! Loved my visit totally!

  18. Oh I laughed so hard!! You have a way with words!! I love that last bit about your poor girls leg!! Have a great SITS day!!

  19. Seriously, the posts just keep getting better. I'm suppose to be getting my kids ready for school and I keep reading your blog! Good laughs this morning :o)

  20. Girl, you are hysterical!

  21. Hilarious. Love the crack about the amputated leg!