Monday, July 13, 2009

Is It the Testosterone That Makes Them Crazy?

The family and I just got back from a road trip yesterday. That's why I posted three recipes in a row last week. I scheduled them. Love that.

Anyway, I have plans for a couple posts this week, but right now I have Mount Dirty Laundry to face, among other things. I do want to take a minute though, to share some of my mental trauma with you. Because I'm sick like that.

Our little mini vacay was a camping trip to Bear Lake on the Idaho/Utah border. Yes, you heard that right, camping. You know I'm not a fan of camping because of the dirt, and the lack of indoor plumbing, but the rest of the family is, so I took one for the team. After all, it's not always about me. Mostly it is, but not always.

Just kidding. I did have fun, but I really, really, really miss my indoor plumbing. I'm a big time germaphobe so I find public bathroom excursions to be a bit like mental boot camp. Zoe Bug and Stinkerbell are right there with me too. At one point we entered a Porta Potty, and Zoe came unglued and started hyperventilating. Call me a bad Mama, but I was a little bit proud of her for being repelled and freaked out, but then I had to talk her down and that felt just a little too ironic.

Like the blind leading the blind.

All that aside, we survived and we had a great time. Besides the plumbing deprivation, the worst part was driving there and back with Compass Man. Is it me, or are men just nuts behind the wheel? It's like driving with the Incredible Hulk sometimes, we're driving along, enjoying the beautiful scenery and then BLAM!!!! Compass Man is threatening the RV in front of us with an imaginary rocket launcher.

"If I had a rocket launcher mounted on my car, you would be DEAD! DEAD!"

It's crazy. Then I have the audacity to ask Mr. Grouchy Pants to pull over so I could use the restroom. He did not like that one little bit. Me and my itty bitty bladder.

Of course when I come back from the restroom, I'm driving. It's my punishment. You might think it would be a little more relaxing this way, but it's not. I get a continuous commentary each time we pass a vehicle we've seen before "Oh great, it took me ten minutes to pass that guy."

Geez. Why do men have to be in front of EVERYONE. ELSE. ON THE ROAD? Are they physically incapable of following another vehicle without having an embolism?

Get this though, we're coming home and I'm driving. Peanut Head turns to me and says "Um, you know you're going 80, right?"

I respond, "Hey! But nobody's passing me!" I'm so defensive.

"Oh yeah," he sheepishly responds.

Seriously, is it the testosterone that makes them crazy? Is there some kind of anti-venom we could give them before embarking on family road trips? Someone needs to get right on that.


  1. Hahahaha you have it sooooo right!!!! We quit traveling on holidays when I decided we were going to die because hubby HAS to get in front of every other driver...H*E*L*L* is NOT going to happen!!!!!

  2. my hubby has gotten WAY better about this, but when we first got married i would get so tense and angry everytime I was in the car... even without him, because I picked up his bad attitude. he is still convinced that every dumb thing another driver does is for the sole purpose of making his drive more difficult. because it's all about him.

  3. It is! It must be! My Husband's solution to this is that HE DRIVES. My Slurpee Post? About the Slurpee Run? 20 hours in the car in one day. He drove. The whole way. no one else was allowed in the driver's seat.

    2004. Road Trip to Denver (from Canada). He drove. All the way. (Granted, it was a standard, and there was only one other person in the car who could drive stick... and it wasn't me. ha ha! And that was our only car at the time.)

    Man-Trip (check out is his invention... and he drives pretty much the whole way. Last trip he drove for pretty much 3 solid days of the 5 they were gone.

    He's also followed Metallica around the country, following them through three provinces in as many days...

    So, I understand your road trip pain. I'm glad you had a good time!

  4. LOLOL!!! Oh man, I give you a standing ovation for 'taking one for the team', because I don't know if I could handle camping in the summer EVER AGAIN. It was different when Ken and I weren't married or were JUST married-- it was an adventure then. Something out of a movie. Now with three More like a bad sitcom.

  5. I love to camp. I have never been camping where there was only porta potties! I would definitely draw the line there!

    On our way home from vacation, Abbey had to go to the bathroom. My husband pulls up to a look out spot on the mountaion. She goes to the bathroom and I hear her BAWLING! I run over to check on her. It's like a porta potty. But you could NOT see the bottom. It was just a dark hole! I take her outside and she cops a squat. I just could not make her use that potty! I wouldn't have...

  6. I have much empathy for you...but I don't think it is the testosterone unless I have a larger than normal amount in me. :-) I drive pretty much where ever we go because when I don't... I turn into "that" side seat driver you just described. I don't know if it is the planner in me always seeking out my next move and getting frustrated when my hubby doesn't do the same, I don't know. I just know I am that spouse of our pair that goes crazy when I get the car. I hate traffic and I hate driving in general, but until I create a device that can transport me otherwise (yeah right) driving it is. I laughed several times through out this post because I thought of myself in many a case, not just the driving. In Peanut Head's defense, those drivers were put there at that time to get on his nerves. It is all about us... I mean him. :-)

  7. Funny. I'm with you on the whole camping experience. I keep trying to figure out how people like "roughing it" so much. I'm glad you had a good time, though! :-)

  8. Good for you for going camping. I am a germaphobe as well. I know my time is coming. Hubby is an ex-marine and they seem to enjoy that kind of stuff. I don't get it.

    I think it is the testosterone that makes men like that, especially when driving. I don't get that either.

    Glad you had a good time though!

  9. That does not sound good for me for next week. We are hitting the road for a family reunion. Is there a shot a can give him? Hee, hee, hee.

  10. Hey- I've started to take my "fear of flying" pill for road trips. Isn't there a rule about being so many car lengths behind the car in front of you? Plus, I think it's just plain wrong, unlike my husband, to zip over to the fast lane and then put on the brakes or ride the other's tail until they move over!! Getting there is half the fun( yeah right)

  11. I'm glad you survived and made it home safely.

  12. I refuse to use testosterone as an excuse for them acting like idiots... There really is no excuse for it! They should just grow up already!

    And yes, my husband is the same way... and so is my husband... and am I really this bitter about it? Yep. That too. =D

  13. Ohmygosh! I am laughing so hard!

    First: Compass Man is threatening the RV in front of us with an imaginary rocket launcher.

    Thought I was going to pee my pants. Really.

    Then: anti-venom


    I don't camp for the same reasons you stated. Also, the hubs doesn't consider it camping unless it's strapped to your back and you hike in a million miles. I'd kill for a porta potty at that point. Not that I'd go IN one, but just to see one would be nice. So, he and the boy (not that he's 'the boy' any more ... sob, how did that happen?!) camp alone. Now that we have another female in the house, maybe we can talk him into porta potty camping. :)

    Thanks for the early morning laugh. Next time though, a warning? My monitor screen is all nice and shiny clean now. Now that the coffee isn't there.



  14. LOL that is SO FUNNY I didn't know that about you:-) I love to camp but yes I can see you being that way! Good for you...for mustering the guts to do that!

  15. Bwahahahahhahahhaaaa!!!!

    Oh my.... hahahahhahahahaa.... Reading 'Favorite posts' and found this.....

    We DO camp (generally tent camping for 5-10+ days)... King Turd almost ALWAYS drives.... BE.CAUSE.... HE is a truck driver and he's 'spent more time backin' up then you've spent goin' forward!'.... La-Dee-Dah-To-You-Too!! And he's always screaming at the other drivers & flipping them off....

    Here's the kicker... I used to have a home-based business... So I had advertising on the side of my van... with my HOME phone number... mmmhhmmm, yeppers.... he's screamin' & hollerin' & flippin' people off and I'm doing this cute & cuddly stuff-n-fluff business...

    Yeah... THAT was pretty....