Friday, May 15, 2009

Super Size Me

The girlies and I were standing in line at the store check-out counter when the begging began. Doesn't it always happen at the check-out counter? The placement of candy at the check-out counter is really marketing genius. Kids are always wearing their parents down, begging and begging and begging. It never stops. Sometimes you give in and let the kid have some candy, and sometimes you can't help yourself and you get your own. More than likely if that candy hadn't been placed right there at the check-out, you never would have picked it up. Am I right?

Well, this time I was feeling magnanimous so I told the girls they could each pick out a piece of candy, so long as it wasn't packaged in plastic crap that would never break down in the land fills. I know I'm a freak. My kids are going to grow up warped. They'll have nightmares about our landfills bursting at the seams, plastic mutating trash monsters chasing them. I'm just doing my part to help Mother Earth, saddling my kids with their fair share of environmental guilt.

Anyway, how do I get so sidetracked? Zoe decides to test my limits, of course, because that's her job. She nonchalantly says, "Mama, can I have a King-Size?"

I, in all my parenting wisdom (making it up as I go), reply "Do you want a King-Size Butt?"

Argument over. Score one for the Parents.


  1. OMG! I would have heard (from any one of my kids) "What, like your butt, Mom?" Because irreverence is treated like a science around here, it is a truth until someone proves you wrong. I swear, if I didnt know that they get it directly from me, I would get a LOT more upset about it. Really, the nerve! Hahahaha

    PS, my son found my chocolate stash this week. I kept telling him that he doesnt belong in my room ever or for any reason, but I kept catching him wandering around. Then one day this week he starts hinting about my stash while asking for a snack. UGH! Now I have to find a better hiding spot that is still ultra close to my lounging spot. Why oh why did I ever teach my kids that chocolate is the best thing in life???? What was I thinking!!!

  2. That was a great post! I love the "king size butt" part. So true....

    Have a great weekend!

  3. I'll have to send your girls some of the candy that The Midge got from her uncle, who went to the Hershey store in Chicago last weekend. He brought her back a pack of foot-long Twizzlers and a super jumbo Reese's Peanut Butter bar.

  4. Poor are one funny mamma.


  5. ha!! no wonder there is now a tv show about motherhood- the stuff we come up with just off the top of our heads is just good material!! i'm lmbo!

  6. Perfect answer!!! I am SO going to use that one someday.

  7. So what kind of butt did she choose? A big butt, little butt, no butt?

    Some of the best parental advise comes from the hip, don't ya think?

    Way to keep it real girl!

  8. "Do you want a King-Size Butt?"

    I'm going to remember this the next time I think of splurging on some chocolatey-goodness while waiting in line at the grocery store!

    So, So, So funny!!!!

  9. That is a good one! So, what DID she pick??

  10. Just wanted to let you know I have chosen you to receive the friend blog award this week it is at my blogspot.

  11. i have a friend that when anyone would ask her if she wanted to 'upsize' or have dessert, etc. she would say (all crazy freakly lady like) "YOU ARE CONTRIBUTING TO FAT AMERICA!!!" it was hysterical to me...laughing now just thinking about it