Sunday, April 12, 2020

Out With the Old and in with the New OCD Easter Bunny

We've had serious problems with our Easter Bunny in the past. I first documented those problems back in 2009 when the Easter Bunny completely failed to come. Then in 2011 Stinky started to ruin the magic with her skepticism. Finally, in 2012 Zoe learned that I am a Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.

But now, for 2020, I think we've finally found an Easter Bunny we can rely on.

It's Stinkerbell. Last night she came into my bedroom with the Easter baskets in tow. She proceeded to fill the baskets with grass and then she went to my super secret hiding spot in my closet and pulled out all the Easter goodies. Too many of them. Peanut Head goes a little overboard when he buys candy. 😉

I didn't stop her because why? I'm always frantically putting the baskets together last minute anyway, and she looked like she wanted this thing to go off without a hitch. So okay, knock yourself out, Sister.

"I'm not going to put the jelly beans in the grass like you always do, Mom. That's gross."

Really? That's the way the Easter Bunny has always done it, but whatever, this is her gig now.

I sort of love the way that she put the jelly beans in their own baggies. 💕

So today is Easter. It's not a normal Easter, obviously, but it's by no means a bad Easter. We aren't having our usual friends over because of the Shelter in Place, but it's okay. We're together and that's what matters. I have a ham in the oven, and we're just keeping it low key.

We've been sheltered in place for three weeks now, going out only for supplies. Idaho had 1,407 confirmed cases of Covid-19 as of the end of the day yesterday.

We went to Sam's Club yesterday to pick up goat cheese. Stinkerbell is turning 17 this week and she requested a cheesecake for her birthday instead of the usual chocolate cake. I have an awesome recipe for cheesecake with a lemon shortbread crust using goat cheese as well as the usual cream cheese. It might sound weird, but it is AMAZING.

So we grabbed the goat cheese at Sam's Club and we were walking away when we saw this gigondo bottle of hand sanitizer, locked down with a cable to the sink unit. That's how bad the crazies have gotten I guess.

Yesterday I read an article in the CNN Business section titled "Walmart CEO says we're in the 'hair color" phase of panic buying." No lie. I have been seeing and hearing a lot of commercials for hair color, and it's about that time when people are starting to need their grooming appointments.

I can already see it in the Zoom work meetings. We're all devolving from perfectly presentable people into Muppets. Men are growing facial hair and people are willingly exposing their poor fashion choices. We're all covered in dog hair and we don't care. Not only will 2020 be remembed for the Great Toilet Paper Shortage, but also the No Dress Code Enforced period. I'm still wearing jeans everyday, but I feel like I could be on a slippery slope. Like, I don't even have enough sweatpants to properly capitalize on this opportunity.

I know that some of the online meeting platforms have a feature where you can blur out the background, but we need one that will blur us out and bring the background sharply into focus. Can the IT guys get on that?

In other news, Spring has moodily arrived. We had a few really nice days this week and I accidentally took a few longer than normal lunches. This was my hibernating strawberry patch.

This is it after my long lunch hour removing the mulch. My next task here is to move them to the new beds that Peanut Head made for them.

Right here. It's not happening for a few days because Spring is having a fit right now and I'm a weather wimp.

Peanut Head has been rearranging planting beds so he can fit some more in the garden. I feel like we might actually be ready to plant on time this year instead of last minute like our pants are on fire. 

Oh, that's another thing. Seed companies are overwhelmed and they can't keep up with the demand. It seems everyone wants to plant a garden this year. You can't complain about that. Gardens are awesome.

Baney likes to hang out with me when I'm working outside. I like how he's using one of my bricks as a pillow. Hey, I'm just glad he's not in my lap. He's a very needy baby.

We went on our second hike for Zoe's now online hiking class. I need to see if I can get a credit for this class because it is going to kill me. I am not the woman I once was.

This time we went hiking in Pocatello, and as you can tell by this parking lot picture, we were the only people there. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that the trail was snowed in hither and tither.

I know that here everything looks great and the day is sunny and beautiful.

An actual sign with directions. Already this is better than last week's hike.

The trail is very obvious and we did not have to squint our eyes to decide which way it was supposed to go next. "Is it here, or there? Is it anywhere?"

Best of all, it wasn't too terribly steep too quickly.

We did make Baney pack his own water this time. The slacker.

And then I stopped taking pictures. Because we started running into sections of trail which were covered by snow. And I am not a graceful person. I fell down, on my butt, in the snow, 87 times. Perhaps you are thinking no big deal? In places the snow was more than a foot deep, so I could not just stand up. Being no longer the woman I once was, I had to roll over onto my hands and knees and slowly, awkwardly, right myself. Sometimes only to fall again.

While my family was laughing. Mostly trying not to laugh, but you know how you can see it in their eyes.

One time Stinky fell and she was all "Mom! See, I fell too!" [don't you feel better because I also suck at this?]

Here's the thing though, her one time was 87 to the zero power compared to my falling. It did not make me feel better.

Peanut Head kept insisting that it would get better up ahead. It did not.

I took this picture because this is where I sat down and said I was not going any further dammit, unless it was back the way I came. As you can see it was only 3.25 miles after an hour and 45 minutes, much of it horizontal, but also at the end of my rope.

I took this picture because this is where I filed for divorce. I'm going to miss that man. He is such a handy guy.

I sort of love this picture because it shows that Stinky was tired from the hike. I felt a little bit validated. Never mind that she was running circles around me.

Also, Peanut Head partook of the Aleve with me that night. I still love him.

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