Friday, July 6, 2012

Weird Science

Ever since Peanut Head and I got our phones last year, I have taken delight in interrupting his important work at the lab whenever I can. I know how dull it can be working around all those scientist types, such as himself, and I like to infuse a ray of sunshine into his day.

Industrial sized wrench. Whatever.

Since Peanut Head is a Geophysicist, I couldn't resist sharing the above joke with him that I found on Pinterest.

I thought it was funny. I don't know why he didn't.

Then a few weeks ago I was having lunch with Glitter Man, and he started asking me questions about the metric system. Since I'm a math teacher now and all that.

At one point Glitter Man asked me a question that I didn't know the answer to, and I exclaimed "Let's ask Peanut Head! He knows everything! Watch this." 

I then proceeded to send the following text.

Although Peanut Head is not quite as quick to reference as Google, on account of he has Very Important Work to do, he did not disappoint.

Google, however, does not mock.

Lest you start to feel sorry for Peanut Head having to put up with me, I can assure you that he has his own fun with me. 

I know, this looks harmless, but you need to know that he was poking his scientist friends and laughing about the likely reaction to the following Text That Went On Too Long.

Oh wait. He's not done.

When I got this text and I was all "Whoa Nelly! I think this text was supposed to go to Bill Nye the Science Guy."

Seriously. This is what I deal with on a daily basis. All the time he's talking and he's not making any sense. 

Actually that's a bit of an exaggeration. A habit which I abhor.

Peanut Head is really not a man of many words, but when he gets fixin' to talk, make sure you've had a healthy dose of caffeine. Or a Focus Pill. Pick your poison.

Every once in a while someone asks me what Peanut Head does for a living and I always reply "He's a Geophysicist," and then I hope to high heaven that the conversation stops right there.

"Oh. Oka-a-a-ay. So what does he do as a Geophysicist?" is the often cursed response.

[heavy sigh]

"Well, the truth is . . . I don't . . . really . . . quite know. You should ask him about it! He would love to tell you about it."

Please yes, please ask him so I can watch you writhe in pain, eye balls rolling back in your head as you lose consciousness and clunk to the floor.

Here he is working in "the lab." A place I'm not allowed to visit because I don't have the proper security clearance. Whatever. Like I'm going to share top secret information on the internet with the Terrorist Mommy Bloggers.

Like I could even formulate the proper sentence to relay that information.

In this picture I think it looks like he's making Skittles. What do you think?

Then there's this picture in which I had to ask Peanut Head "When did you start working at the Dry Cleaners pressing pants?"

He informs me that this is actually a laser which will "blow a hole right through me."

Or put a mean crease in my work pants. Whatever. You can't scare me with your pants press, Peanut Head.

Recently Peanut Head has been working on this Melt-Thing, let's just pretend it's like a Freeze Ray but instead we'll call it a Melt Ray. I like to keep things simple. 

Anyway, he's been working on the Melt-Thing, and he's been having to get up super early to go in to work sixteen hour days here and there, and I sort of feel sorry for him.

I try to be an understanding and supportive wife, but really, it's such a stretch for me.

Enough! You're done.

I can't take any more of these longer than a screen shot texts. This is texting, not manuscripting.

There. That's better. Aren't I supportive and understanding?

Again, it's not always me picking on Peanut Head. Well, it mostly is, but he has his fun too.

Last week when the girlies were at Horse Camp, I was painting the inside of the Chicken Coop and I sort of locked myself inside with the girls.

So I sent this text to my white knight.

See, he's understanding and supportive too. We're a matched set.

Good thing I locked myself in there with my phone isn't it? I can entertain myself for hours with my phone.

Again, the ever supportive husband.

Now why didn't I think of that? I can get rescued with my phone too. It's such a handy little BFF.


  1. You and Peanut Head crack me up, Jill! These posts always make me smile and laugh out loud. It's horrible yet funny at the same time the things you send him ~ "patty melt". : ) I just picked up on the girls are at horse camp again. I hope they both got HORSES this year!

  2. I laughed out loud so many times!! Love yalls relationship...hilarious! Thanks for sharing- Love your blog!

  3. HIlarious :) And as a science teacher, I have much appreciation for this! I will definitely be using the joke during Earth Science this year!


  4. You guys are very strange... which makes you a perfect couple. :)

  5. I love this! Keep going!
    I am reading this at 3 am and trying not to laugh so loud that I wake everyone up.

    I am jealous of your funloving realtionship with Peanut Head.

    Looking forward to the next post. Texts and all.

  6. I'm glad to have a friend who also can't describe what her husband's gotten to the point where I don't ask specifics about work because after a couple short seconds my eyes glaze over and I'm totally and completely lost. When people ask me what my husband does, I've resorted to replying with "He's a computer geek." If they press for more, "Something with writing and testing computer code." At that point they are satisfied, if not, they are then referred to my husband who will which point they are done asking.

    I'm also glad to see another wife who asks her husband random questions while he is at work...I don't have google on my phone and sometimes the computer is just too far away.

  7. Okay, I could be wrong here... but I think micrometers are 10^-6 of a meter, and millimeters are 10^-3 of a meter. I think there are some in between! I don't think anyone uses them, but I'm pretty sure it takes 100 micrometers to make a millimeter.

    Sorry. Dork alert :)

    I love the randomness- reminds me of my husband and me!

    Luckeyfrog's Lilypad

  8. Luckyfrog is right, there are 1000 um in a mm (10^3). But I don't think there is anything between. The prefixes are multiples of 10 from milli (1/1000) up to kilo (1000), but are in jumps of 10^3 outside that range.

    Super geek alert 👽

    I usually only work in steps of 10^3 even within the normal range so I tend to forget the others.


  9. Oh my gosh! I just stumbled onto your blog through pinterest. I am so glad I read down through a few of these. This one was so hysterical I read it aloud to my "better Half" who I refer to as Mr. Ed. He and I are complete opposites. I am the horses head. Of course he an I are cracking up through the whole post. At the end he asks, "She really calls her husband "penis head?" No wonder he was laughing so hard! Well done, I'll be back.

  10. Is it weird if I say that I just LOVE you?!!

    A few years ago I found your blog and bookmarked it on my work computer. I got a new job last year so I couldn't find your blog! Sounds lame, but my memory is really bad. I googled everything I could think of looking for you! AND.. today I finally found it! I have a ton of catching up to do!

    1. Dani, It's not any lamer than me responding to this comment almost a year after the fact. I deserve the Lame Blogger award. I'm sure there must be one out there. Anyway, I'm glad you're back. :)

  11. I have been gone from the blog world to long. I am so glad you are still posting! You are hilarious!!! Missed ya!