Monday, February 29, 2016

Biscuit Butt

Well hello there, My Friends. I'm just popping in so I can stick to my rigorous monthly posting schedule. I'll just barely make February today with Gunny Man's help.

Here Gunny Bun Bun is laying atop his dog house, basking in the 30 degree temps of an Idaho Pre-Spring day.

I hope you will forgive him the indelicate pose. Thankfully we have Modesty Butterflies to make up for his lack of class.

The snow has mostly melted here in Idaho, and the sun makes occasional appearances. Not that Biscuit Butt here would know, because he has spent his entire winter indoors.

You read that right. The Bunnery Sergeant has successfully Sad Faced his way through a winter spent sleeping cozily on his dog bed, while his masters toiled away at school and work.

Each morning he would retire to his bed, sometimes with the cat, after a breakfast at his girls' feet, eating discarded toast crusts and lunch packing detritus.

Each day we asked him if he would like to spend the day outside, and each day he would answer with his silent, stealthy, no eye contact walk to his bed. The eyes don't lie.

Mr. Man here is what we call an Opportunist.

And he's such a Naughty Pants that we had to push the coffee table up against the couch every morning and litter the surface with pointy, uncomfortable objects so as to dissuade him from climbing atop for a long winter's nap.

And as a result of the long winter of lounging around, Mr. Bun Bun is greeting the promise of Spring with a super-sized Biscuit Butt. Never mind that I have no room to talk, let's just focus on Mr. Leisure Time here.

We've been warning him that this day would come.

We've scolded his Sad-Eyes-Watching-Us-Eat with admonishments that he is now a Gluten Free Vegan, so therefore he cannot possibly partake in our supper.

And he looks on longingly, as if to say "I have no idea what you are saying, but I think you want to give me that taco."

Today was the Day of Reckoning.

Today was the day that Peanut Head pulled the bikes out of the shed and the girls hooked up their Gunny Bar Leash Thingie to start his Spring Training.

He can scarcely believe it himself. He is looking toward a spring and summer of dragging his gnarly round carcass countless times around the block.

And to that we simply reply "Mwah-ha-ha-ha."

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