Monday, January 24, 2011

Decadent Valentine Oreos

If you're on a post-holiday reducing plan, please click right on out of here because you're not going to want to see this. It might already be too late. Look away fast and try to distract yourself.

Well look at that. You're still here. You must be in the mood for a sweet treat. I promise, I have got the thing for you.

These white chocolate dipped Oreos are actually an accident. I thought they were going to be a train wreck, but I'm happy to report that I was wrong. It happens.

And unlike someone who shall remain unnamed, [cough] Peanut Head, I can admit it when it happens.

It all started back in November when Peanut Head and I were talking about starting our annual baking spree. Peanut Head is always changing things and he is never satisfied with perfection. He's maddening to live with, let me tell you. I grew up always hearing "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Peanut Head thinks that statement is a bunch of hullabaloo.

Anyway, he started talking about dipping our beloved Oreo cookies in white chocolate and then sprinkling them with festive sprinkles for the holidays. Possibly he did say "festive." Or not. I could have made that up. I have such a tenuous grip on what is real and what is not.

Pretend that he did.

Anyway, how many times can I say "anyway" in one post. Don't test me. So, anyway, I immediately boo hooed him and told him that the Oreos get too stale if not eaten right away (so what if it almost never happens), so therefore I didn't think they would be a good specimen for a layover of x number of weeks in our colder-than-an-icebox garage. That's where the insanity sits while we're cranking it all out. You really need to know what I'm talking about. Go look, and come right back, okay?

Yes, we are nuts. I am so, so, so, so, happy to report that 2010 was The Last Year for that mess. It is a tradition that has taken on a life of its own. We have spreadsheets with ghastly amounts of unhealthy ingredients, perfectly lined out and tabulated, so that we can start shopping for the ghastly amounts of ingredients in September. No lie.

Thankfully, I have only my memories.

And these. I can push on with these by my side. On my thighs. Whatever.

I want you to have a friend like mine, so I'm going to hook you up with everything you need to make your own sin covered Oreos. Because I'm nice like that.

This is what you need to make the naked Oreos. And the recipe, of course. Click on that link and it will take you to the original post with the recipe card.

To trick out your Oreos like these babies, you'll need a few extra ingredients.

Take one package of Vanilla Almond Bark and 8 oz. of white chocolate, and melt them together. Next, dip the Oreos in the chocolate, just as far as you dare. Put them on waxed paper and immediately sprinkle with the cutest sprinkles you can find. Allow the chocolate to dry and set up.

I'm going to go ahead and say it. You probably want to hide the Oreos and dole them out one at a time. It will make you feel powerful, and you'll get to experience a treat that actually improves with age. It sounds crazy, but they get better every day. Just keep them in an airtight container, and the cookies will become softer, encased in their white chocolate coats, with each passing day.

If you skip the hiding step, you won't get to see what I mean. No one can resist the Oreo, so if you're the only one who knows where they are, you will allow the maximum number of Oreos to survive long enough to achieve Nirvana, because only you will be sneaking them.

By day five, your eyes will roll back in your head and knock you out when you take your first bite. I haven't experimented past day five, so you'll have to run experiments of your own.

I know it sounds like such drudgery, but it's for science. Put on your lab coat and get to it.


  1. Oh my gosh!!!! Yes I am on a diet and I didn't look away!
    Those look absolutely delightfully sinfully delicious!
    I'm drooling on the keyboard!

  2. Okay, so I don't know you but it has been a year now that I have been reading your blog because YOU ARE HILARIOUS. I also love that you make pretty things, but mostly you are hilarious. Just so you know.

  3. Wow, those are definitely drool worthy! Yum! Perfect for the kids Valentine's Day parties at school :)

  4. Are you CUH-RAZEE???? oh, wait, yes, I know you are....those look delectable and!
    Thanks, neighbor!


  5. Oooh! Yum!!! These look so fancy AND delicous!

  6. my mouth is watering.... YUMMY!!!! I'm going to make them and eat just one (or twelve!) and give the rest away... (maybe)

  7. Looks yummy! I'm going to make for DH to send to work (and maybe leave a few for myself too!) Thank for sharing!

  8. WOW, Talk about so much missing from this story.

    She didn’t even hint at the level of No, No, No, No ,NO! Grief that I received at my idea back before Christmas.

    So I didn’t want to do Frying Pan Cookies this year. Yeah they’re great … Yeah we both love them … But what a total pain-in-the-keester. And time was running out so I substituted something else in the pails. So What?

    Oh and let’s not get started on the whole perfection thing Miss OCD Craft FREAK.

    And then there’s the ‘admitting I’m wrong’ implication … OK … I’ll give you that … Though it’s more from lack of opportunity than anything else.

    We can also go into the whole robotic food thing where recipes are the unalterable ‘Word of the Food God’.

    But you know Jill’s right. Occasionally I mess up … Like that whole enchilada thing.

    So I misread, that’s misread not changed, an enchilada recipe and put in a can of chipotle chile peppers, instead of one canned chipotle chile pepper.

    That constant reminder, whenever I start getting froggy with a recipe, of a mistake I made ... Let’s see … I think it was around … Uhm … 1995!

    SIXTEEN YEARS ago Jill.

    I doubt I’ve ever used the word festive intentionally, or at least non-sarcastically.

    But you know, just occasionally I seem to get it right and come up with something that’s … OK. Like the onion cheese peasant bread from this last weekend that was decimated at your all day crop, in preference to my Portuguese sweet bread rolls.

    I’m not sure I’m presently inclined to share.


    Couple more hints for the cookies
    They’re just as good with a more subtle decoration like colored sugar then all that garish, hard-as-rock, tooth chipping crap that Jill tends to dump on things.

    Flavored and Colored Cream Cheese Frosting
    You’ll notice that the frosting looks pinkish in the Valentine cookies. For Christmas I used peppermint flavoring and red dye for half the cookies, and wintergreen and green dye for the other half. For the Valentine version it was red dye and peppermint again. It gives it an extra dimension in flavor. Go easy on the flavoring as a subtle strength works a lot better than say … toothpaste.

    Jill’s right about getting better with time. It might not be possible but is definitely worth the wait.

    I brought two with me for lunch today leaving just two left at home.




  9. Oh. My. Goodness. I think that's the most Peanut has said EVER. Oh, no, wait. It's not. When he was teaching me Calculus he went on and on and ooooooonnnnnn. He sounds so bitter. He's really not, he just likes to be right. I think I'm going to start calling him Bitter Boy anyway. Just because I can.

    I still bow to your cookies though. And your bread, okay? I'll give you the bread. Now stop your pedantic ranting.

    I'm pretty surprised you got the year right. I've got to hand it to you again. Perhaps it was that traumatic for you too. Now why can't you remember what I was wearing when we met? :)

  10. so funny!!
    i love homemade oreos. yum.

  11. I'm thinking these would be perfect to make for the hubster and kidlets for Valentines day!

  12. OMG. Seriously. I am drolling on the computer keyboard right now. Will be making those this week and letting them sit (ya, right) until Monday. Girl, I don't know how you do it but you always manage to make a good thing even better!