In case you can't tell from the excellent disguise, Zoe Bug is going as a Gunslinger for Halloween this year.
And no, it was not my idea.
I used to pick out the Halloween costumes for my kids, but Peanut Head shut me down a couple years ago. I'm still pretty bitter about it too.
Back when all was right in my world and I had control over every stitch of clothing that my girls wore, they would beg me to be crazy things like Hannah Montana and I would be all "NO!"
It's not that I don't want my girls to have a say in what they get to be for Halloween, it's more that I'm only okay with it if their idea of a cool costume lines up with my idea for a cool costume. Oh whatever, who am I kidding? I want control of everything.
I really am capable of compromise. Really. I just like my kids to look cute in their costumes. I try to accommodate their wishes too. Stinkerbell has been asking to be a lobster for at least three years now, since she was three, and I would be okay with that, except who sells lobster costumes? I'm not that girl who can whip up her own costume after designing and creating the pattern, so if it's not in the store, it's not going on the girl. Hence no lobster. Yet. Maybe by the time she's 25 we'll find that special costume. Won't that be cute?
Finding a costume to satisfy Stinkerbell is a traumatic event for me. We went to look for costumes at Target, and in the costume aisle, I am not kidding you, she would only pick up ugly, creepy, scary costumes. Not cute. At all. It was so sad. And I don't mind telling you that I was so desperate that I was begging her to pick the vampire costume because at least I had the smallest shred of hope that I could find a way to cutify it. I could get out the make-up kit and accessorize a costume like that.
The swamp monster though? I've got nothin' that can make this cute.
Am I right? I just want to schedule her a pedicure and some sedation dentistry. Girlfriend needs some heeeeeeeelp.
I keep asking myself, "Why do I have girls if they're going to dress like this?" I'm no fashion diva or anything like that, but come on.
Does anyone feel my pain here?
Well shoot, there's always next year.