You know this guy, right? Jesse James of West Coast Choppers. Soon to be ex-husband of Sandra Bullock.
Yeah. Well, I just have one word for you.
Cake. Well, he's not cake, but let me explain.
I probably didn't tell you that Janae roped me into another hobby, right? Cake decorating of all things. You know I needed another hobby, and its accompanying storage cases and never ending paraphernalia-that-I-must-have, like I needed a hole in my head.
Yeah. Oh well. Girl Genius and I took the Wilton Decorating Basics course at Michael's this month, and let me tell you, my buttocks did not need one more challenge. Sheesh.
It was fun though, and I learned a lot. It was one of those experiences where I was shown again and again things that I had been doing wrong for years.
For example, I learned that you cannot bake a cake without this stuff. It's Wilton's Cake Release, and it is magic. M-A-G-I-C. I know I throw that word around like butter, but I feel very strongly about this. Trust me here. I would not lead you astray.
Forget everything your Mama ever told you about greasing and flouring your cake pans, everything I ever told you about lining your cake pans with parchment paper, and everything your Daddy's brother's mama ever told you about getting cake out of the pan perfectly. This secret substance is all you need. And you can get it with a 40% off coupon. Whoo hoo!
Really. All you do is squinch some of this stuff into your cake pans and spread it around before adding your cake batter. Then when your cake comes out of the oven, you let it cool for 10 minutes, in the pan and on cooling racks, and you're not going to believe this, but your cake will come out perfectly. As in without any tapping, any running a butter knife around the edges, any special voodoo dances around the kitchen, or any prayers. No. Lie.
This was my first cake which I decorated in class.
It was delicious.
This was my final project cake. We were supposed to put some writing on it to show that we had mastered the writing technique. Or maybe it was so we could show that we were literate? I don't know. All I know is that I didn't have a special occasion for this cake, I was just going to eat it, and maybe share it, so this endearing message seemed pretty straight forward to me.
Besides, it's like my motto in life, right?
This was Janae's final project cake. I know. She's an overachiever. Everything she does is perfect. Everything. I thought I was anal, then I met her and it was true love. Well, true love as it can only be between BFFs.
Nothing creepy here, Fred. That's Janae's husband. He thinks I'm CUH-razy. And he's right, but whatever.
It was a fun, fun class, and we got to get out and meet new, interesting people. People more interesting than ourselves. On account of we don't get out enough.
Like this person. He is just one of those interesting people we met. He's very colorful, isn't he?
It just goes to show you that looks can be deceiving. Like you might expect to see this guy on a Harley, wearing leathers and draped with chains, right? The only leap your mind is going to have to make here, is to picture the Wilton Deluxe Cake Decorating kit strapped to his sissy bar.
His name is James. Well, was James. I've renamed him.
He's sort of scary in his cake decorating abilities. He has skillz that he brought with him to class. This is the basics class dang it, and he was decorating circles around us.
For starters his frosting is always the perfect consistency for the purpose for which he intends to use it. It's disgusting. Well, in an I'm-Jealous-of-Him kind of way.
Plus, he's nice and helpful. He lent his perfect consistency buttercream frosting to Janae and I when we were struggling to keep our bags loaded to move on to the next technique.
After he handed over his perfect consistency frosting, I said "You're like the Jesse James of Cake Decorating."
He gave me a little raised eyebrow.
Then I was having trouble getting my not so perfect consistency frosting to extrude from my bag. If your frosting is too stiff you can add a little water to it.
Or you can ask someone with hot hands to hold it for you. Yep.
"Jesse Cupcake, will you please hold my bag for me?"
And that was it. The name stuck.
Jesse Cupcake is really good at flowers.
After I gave him his new name, my little gift to him, I asked him if he would please wear a tank top to the next class so I could get a proper picture of all his tats.
You know how I like a good juxtaposition.
And I was up front when I told him that a few people that read my blog might see his picture.
He was cool with that.
I think. Well, he wore the tank top, didn't he?
And he didn't swat me away when I was hovering with my camera.
See look. Jesse Cupcake has a sense of humor.
He was a little shy about posing with his cake though.
And he got a little sunburned when we bestowed him with his new shirt.