Cheese Bread

Peanut Head makes this A-MAZING Cheese Bread that I looooooove. Sometimes I beg him to make it for me. The Barefoot Contessa taught him how to make it, and I remember the first time I had it at her house. It was the day I knew I was going to make her my Mother-in-Law, it's that good.

Then she told me the secret ingredient was mayonnaise, and I had to rethink that whole marrying her son to get to her table thing. In the end, I decided to just pretend the mayonnaise wasn't there so I could enjoy myself properly. You really can't even taste it. Trust me. I'd be gagging on it if I could taste it. I loathe mayonnaise.

The recipe is super simple, and you can make it with any kind of cheese you want. Often we just make it out of whatever we can scrounge out of the fridge. Like if we had tacos the night before and we still have shredded cheese, we'll use that and just supplement with whatever else we can find. Then we'll dig around in the freezer for french bread that's been buried. Of course it's better if the bread is fresh. It just depends on how desperate you are.

If you're suspicious, halve the recipe and just give it a try. I promise, you'll love it. Unless you don't like bread, then I'm going to have to tell you the same thing I tell people that don't like chocolate . . . you're a freak.

Come one. Give it a try, won't you?

Honey Spiced Butter

I'm just popping in for a quickie little recipe card for honey spiced butter. It's super easy to make, and well worth the effort if you want to dress up some bread.

And if you really want to go crazy, you can even squish it out through a frosting bag with a fancy decorator tip. Nobody really cares about that though, so don't bother. Everyone loves butter. Well, except for those odd people that don't (like Mattie Cake). Freaks, I tell you. Freaks.

Cornbread . . . by Peanut Head

Remember how I told you that Peanut Head is always experimenting with a good thing? Like he can NEV. ER. leave well enough alone? He has had some pretty strange ideas too, let me tell you. 

One time, he made enchiladas or something for his sister, Marcia, and I, and he screwed up big time. I don't remember exactly what it was he made because my head caught on fire immediately after the first bite and incinerated the memory from my brain forever.

Which probably gives you a little clue about what the experiment was all about. Ahem. The recipe, the recipe he decided to tweak before he even tried it once, called for one canned chipotle chili pepper.

And he dumped the whole can in.

The bonehead.

Marcia and I took one bite and we were all "Nuh Uh. I ain't eatin' tonight. I'm goin' to bed hungry."

He was, and is, so full of pride that he choked his serving down, sweating buckets and exclaiming how delicious it was. "It's got a little kick, but it's very flavorful."

"What-EVER. Like how could you tell? Your mouth is spewing flames like a blow torch."

Geesh. Anyway, this recipe isn't really like that. I just like to make fun of Peanut Head whenever I can. This recipe is actually very good and it wasn't his first tweak at it, so you're safe and you don't have to worry about any kitchen fires.

I promise.

I don't really know how he made it, but he took a lot of pretty pictures, so I'm just showing them to you.

"Ack! Alien hand with pecan halves!"

"Oooh, purty."

Purtier still.

It really was good though, so here's the recipe card.

He made me make a recipe card for you. He held a can of chipotle chili peppers to my head and I did it under duress.

No lie.

Portuguese Sweet Rolls

Are these gorgeous or what? They're Portuguese Sweet Rolls and Peanut Head made them. Really. He is a man of many talents. I looooooooove them. I've been known to beg him to make them for me. Sure, I could make them myself, but why would I when I'm living with The Bread Man?

When we got married I was the bread maker. Then the Barefoot Contessa bought Peanut Head a bread machine and my skills were kicked to the curb. Everyone started buying him bread machine cookbooks, he had so much fun baking, baking, baking.  And then he started experimenting, because that's the kind of guy he is, and he can never leave well enough alone. He's like the Enterprise, exploring strange new worlds, yada, yada, yada. 

That's neither here nor there though, you want to know how to make these rolls, right? Well, the recipe is posted at the end if you just want to skip the blah, blah and get right to it. Otherwise, Peanut Head is going to demonstrate how he gets his buns so cute. I mean his rolls.

Oh never mind, watch this.

Peanut Head starts with his dough that has just come out of the bread machine.

Then he starts with a piece of dough equal to approximately a third of a cup, give or take. The size is not super important because you can have little bitty buns, or gigondo buns, like me. You pick.

Then you need to roll that bit of dough into a little snake. Remember doing that with play dough? Same thing.

Stretch it out a wee little bit so you have enough length to tie it into a knot.

See how he holds his fingers as he's stretching his dough around them?

Almost there.

Ta da! It's certainly not rocket science, but it is bread science.

This is what they look like fresh out of the oven. They're almost worth the gigondo butt, aren't they? Who am I kidding? They are.

Here's that recipe card. Enjoy!

Cinnamon Rolls

Finally, I'm ready to share the cinnamon roll recipe that I promised yesterday. I have fond memories of eating cinnamon rolls made by my Mama Llama when I was a kid. It was such a treat.

This recipe is pretty close to my mom's, except that this recipe would probably be categorized as food porn by any self-respecting nutritionist. I think it has something to do with the giganto globs of saturated fat and sugar crack frosting. I think.

See, take a look at the recipe.


I've been making these cinnamon rolls for more than 20 years and it has evolved here and there. The biggest change has been going from kneading the dough myself, to making the dough in our bread machine with the dough setting. I really like using the bread maker because I don't have to touch the dough (it's an OCD thing) and there's less mess. Also, the bread machine provides a warm covered place for the dough to rise on its first go round. And yes, because I'm lazy too. Our bread machine and our Kitchen Aid mixer are the two small appliances that we use most, so you won't be talking me out of it anytime soon.


To start, add the first nine ingredients, in the order listed, to the bread maker pan. Then put the bread maker on the DOUGH setting and press start. You'll want to stick around while the bread maker mixes the ingredients together because you'll need to add more bread flour. You really have to go by the look of it. You don't want it to be sticky, but you don't want it dry either. You're goal is smooth and elastic. If you add too much flour, you'll end up with a big dense blob that doesn't raise. I've had this problem more since I've been using the bread maker, because when you handle the dough when you're kneading it by hand, you get a better feel for when it's perfect. When you're being lazy like me, you've really got to pay attention. And maybe touch it here and there. And if you accidentally pinch a piece of dough off and it jumps into your mouth, nobody has to know.


The dough should look like this when it's smooth and elastic. I have to tell you though, I took about 20 pictures trying to get this one, and it's far from perfect, but in order to take a close-up shot I have to hold my breath and be super still so I don't shake the camera. If the camera moves, I end up with a blurry picture. So, holding still while holding my breath is not easy to do for a roundish person like myself. I lack balance and spatial awareness. And yes, my morning coffee is also conspiring against me.

As if all that wasn't bad enough, I was resting my camera hand on the bread maker to help steady myself, but every time I snapped a picture, the bread machine would start the kneading again and knock me off. So I have lots of big, blurry, blob pictures.

It was exasperating, but I prevailed in the end.

Once the dough is smooth and elastic, you let it raise in the bread maker for about 90 minutes.


Then you take it out and roll it out on a lightly floured surface. You're going for a rectanglish shape here.


Then you brush melted butter on the dough.


And sprinkle it with cinnamon sugar.


By the way, I love these little Flour/Sugar Shakers from Pampered Chef. I have one for flour, one for powdered sugar, and this one for cinnamon sugar. They're so handy. If you don't have a Pampered Chef consultant, and you want to order stuff from a fellow mom blogger, you should contact Lisa at Yeah, I'm Still Here and she'll hook you up with whatever you need.


Oh yeah, and I had to sprinkle pecans on this batch because Smashley likes pecans in her cinnamon rolls. She's so high maintenance. Actually, I like pecans too, but sometimes they're buried in the bottom of my freezer and it just isn't worth the effort. Sometimes.

Some people like raisins too. Heck, throw in whatever you like.


Then start rolling it up from a long edge.


And keep rolling until it resembles a well-fed snake.


Then cut the well-fed snake into approximately one-inch sections.


Put them on a parchment paper lined cookie sheet.


Throw a kitchen towel over it.


And keep it warm in your hopefully not as nasty-dirty as my oven. I sometimes have kitchen mishaps that make it impossible to keep a clean oven.

Leave the rolls in the oven, all nice and cozy, for 30 minutes to an hour. We just want the rolls to rise a little. Or is it raise? I'm so confused.


This is what mine looked like when they were ready. I usually set my timer for the 30 minutes, because I tend to ignore my timer and get distracted with other things, so sometimes my rolls get to raise for the whole hour. No biggie. You can invite Ginormica over to share your cinnamon rolls with. She's very polite and pleasant to be around. Just don't let her sit in your good chairs.


Bake the rolls at 350 degrees for about 15 minutes. You really want to keep an eye on your rolls here because you want to take them out just as they start to brown. Don't go getting distracted. I find this is a perfect time to mix up my frosting and wash a few of those dishes.


Then when the rolls are hot out of the oven, slap some of that frosting on them. Don't be shy here. Really let 'em have it.


Here, do you want a closer look? Oops, sorry. Did you fall in?

Pumpkin Muffins

These are Pumpkin Muffins with Cream Cheese frosting. I got the recipe for these from the Renaissance Woman.

Except R.W. doesn't frost hers.

I'm bad. I tell myself that since I'm eating all that healthy beta carotene, a little cream cheese frosting can't hurt.



These muffins are so easy to make, and so evil, that you will be cursing me for sharing the recipe with you.



But look, you can get a Box Top from the can of frosting!



You might not care about that Box Top once you realize that you can't stop eating these dang muffins.

And here we are heading into the season of 18,000 calorie days.



Yeah. Um.

So. . . enjoy!

Johnny Carino's Olive Oil for Dipping Bread

Here is the recipe I promised last week. Everytime I go to Johnny Carino's, I scarf on the bread. This dipping oil with the roasted garlic is like nothing else I've ever tasted. The texture of the chewy, crunchy garlic is a sensory experience as well. You can even chop and roast the garlic several days ahead and keep it in an airtight container. Or maybe just a ziploc bag if you ever want to be able to use your container again without it making everything smell like garlic.

Oops, I did that.

If you are on a low carb diet you should probably just click on outta here right now, before you do something you'll regret later. Shoot, I could probably say this about all my recipes.

BREADS

Cheese Bread

Cinnamon Rolls

Cornbread

Honey Spiced Butter

Jam

Johnny Carino’s Olive Oil for Dipping Bread

Portuguese Sweet Rolls

Pumpkin Muffins